What a dramatic-sounding blog post title!
But that's what's on my mind as I dust off this little ole blog here...
The radio silence on this blog was because for some time now, roughly a year or more, I was very unsure of my identity. Pretty typical challenge of a young person I guess, but, there it is. I never thought it'd be this way- my whole life I was pretty sure of who I was and what I wanted, and the fundamentals haven't changed I guess; but now I have become more mellow maybe, in terms of being receptive to where life in this world might take me, and how it might change me in ways I don't expect- rather than me tunnel-visioning and being so set on a course of my own design.
During this recent period, specifically, I kind of lost my identity as an artist. In one way that was really beneficial: I let go of who I thought I was, in order to learn. That approach really opened, and continues to open, me up to the ocean of knowledge and thought that I still have to learn. So in that sense it was good. But I also lost my personal drive to be an artist and to carve out what I wanted to say and make as an individual, because I set aside what I thought I could offer for a time, so that I might learn more.
But now, I can feel my old, original instincts from childhood- the ones God gave me when He crafted me as a person, maybe emerging again. The ones, that, aside from all of the world's goings-on and my own thoughts in my too-busy head, make me who I am at my core.
I hope that in the coming months I can explore and develop who I could be as an artist, without losing sight of what matters, and without getting too wrapped up in my own little world. I want to be a citizen of the world! I want to learn more about what is outside of me. The God who is so much bigger and cooler than I'll ever be, the people in this world with all of their varied souls and minds, nature and the animals, the stars.
To start, here's the view outside my brother's window!
May the peace of Christ rest in you, wherever you are at this moment.
